This is the question that has been on my mind for the last week as I prepare to leave Brasil and return home to the U.S.  Where do we go?  What do we do?  This question has both practical and more philosophical elements.  I ask myself–”What will happen in Jaragua when I am gone?  How will we raise the funds necessary to complete the various projects we have begun?  Will there be sufficient local support for any of these ideas to take off?”  And I also ask myself “Where do I go from here?  What are the next steps for my life, what have I learned here and how will it reshape who I am?”

Deus sabe, ele sabe, my Brasilian friends would say.  They seem to have a way of trusting, a simplicity of faith, that I often wish I had.  Maybe its born out of a world without options, a way of life that must take what is given to it because there is really no other choice.  I’m struck again by the vastness of choice offered to us, and the paralyzing effect this abundance of choice can have.  But I digress.

I have learned something here in Brasil.  It settled upon my heart one day, more of a feeling than a thought.  I was sitting in a park enjoying my sandwich when I found myself saying, “This is your life Jake, enjoy it.  Don’t think too much about yesterday or dwell upon tomorrow.  Find yourself here.  Be truly present.  Live your life.”  I believe this is a great challenge for me and for most westerners.  Our society pushes us towards the future, always planning the next step, looking towards tomorrow.  Brasil has taught me how to live in the present, to relax a little more, to play a little more, and to worry a little less.  There is a deep sense of peace that comes when you stop, take a long look at your life, and say, “I’m doing ok.  This is my life.  I like it.  I enjoy it.”  I want to keep this peace when I come home.  I want to teach it to my friends.  I want to spend some more time living like a Brasilian, enjoying each day and spending less time worrying about the future.

Thousands of years ago Epictetus said, “Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer.”  His words perfectly capture the feeling I had that day in the park.  It really isn’t about what happens in the future.  This is your life, live it.

 I started this entry with the question “Where do we go from here?”  It turns out that this is the wrong question.  I should be saying “This is where I am.  Am I alive in this moment?  Am I living it for all it is worth?”

 My final thought for the day, “Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” - Mark Twain…