In looking back a few things become obvious. This trip was not what I was expecting at all; it was both infinitely better and infinitely more difficult. My experience was tremendously varied - one day I could be in Sao Paulo at the nicest mall in the city while the next I would be in a favela playing with some hungry children in tattered clothes who would never know such luxury. The transitions were difficult to say the least. The time with the team was wonderful–I’ve never known such selfless and loving people. My time alone was also good. My friendships deepened, I gained some new family, and spent time with amazing people. We fed so many kids, brought in many clothes, and made a substantial practical impact. I assisted with the construction of a home for the Dirt Family-my week with that family remains one of my most treasured lifetime memories.  Our plans for a community center were delayed and dramatically altered, but I continue to believe that Jaragua will find the justice and peace that it so desperately needs.

Since my return I have struggled with so many questions, a few disappointments, and a lot of confusion.  In looking back at this blog I’m reminded that God is in control and, in a way even more importantly, He is right here next to us wherever we go.  I recall my post from the park when I challenged myself by saying “This is where I am. Am I alive in this moment?  Am I living it for all it is worth?”  I have to say the same thing about my life in Davis.  The surroundings are different, the challenges have changed, but the focus must remain the same.  Am I living out my ideals?  Is my faith impacting my life here in a tangible way, just as it did in Brazil?  How can I demonstrate my love for Jesus while I am sitting in the office?  It has taken me a few months to move past the pain of leaving with so many unfinished projects, with so much left undone.  But now I must begin again.   I look forward to showing Jesus that He is my goal, that loving Him wherever He places me is my only concern.

Once I’m back in Davis I’ll put together some more thoughts and try to give a more comprehensive overview of the trip, what we accomplished, what I learned, and what is next.

Until then

Jake

Deus sabe, ele sabe, my Brasilian friends would say.  They seem to have a way of trusting, a simplicity of faith, that I often wish I had.  Maybe its born out of a world without options, a way of life that must take what is given to it because there is really no other choice.  I’m struck again by the vastness of choice offered to us, and the paralyzing effect this abundance of choice can have.  But I digress.

I have learned something here in Brasil.  It settled upon my heart one day, more of a feeling than a thought.  I was sitting in a park enjoying my sandwich when I found myself saying, “This is your life Jake, enjoy it.  Don’t think too much about yesterday or dwell upon tomorrow.  Find yourself here.  Be truly present.  Live your life.”  I believe this is a great challenge for me and for most westerners.  Our society pushes us towards the future, always planning the next step, looking towards tomorrow.  Brasil has taught me how to live in the present, to relax a little more, to play a little more, and to worry a little less.  There is a deep sense of peace that comes when you stop, take a long look at your life, and say, “I’m doing ok.  This is my life.  I like it.  I enjoy it.”  I want to keep this peace when I come home.  I want to teach it to my friends.  I want to spend some more time living like a Brasilian, enjoying each day and spending less time worrying about the future.

Thousands of years ago Epictetus said, “Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer.”  His words perfectly capture the feeling I had that day in the park.  It really isn’t about what happens in the future.  This is your life, live it.

 I started this entry with the question “Where do we go from here?”  It turns out that this is the wrong question.  I should be saying “This is where I am.  Am I alive in this moment?  Am I living it for all it is worth?”

 My final thought for the day, “Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” - Mark Twain…

I thought I would give a short update on where everything stands and I’ll try to follow up with a more thoughtful post later.

The house should be finished with a few weeks.  The community center concept continues moving forward and has gained great support from the locals.  We are continuing to look for an appropriate building to purchase–I have my fingers crossed that we will have put in an offer on one house before I go to the U.S.

It feels so strange to think about coming home.  Yesterday was bittersweet; this upcoming week will be the same…it is almost over…

I received two real packages since arriving here in Brazil and wanted to talk about them, mostly because they have made me happier than almost anything else.  Last week I received a care package from Trish Brunkhart, my adopted mother in Kentucky.  Mama B sent over all the essentials, including popcorn(thank God!), crayons and paper for the kids, and some really awesome small notebooks.  She also sent glue, which we gave to the moms, as the kids here like to sniff glue :(  Check out the photo album called I Love Mail to see pics of all this.

The Dirt family received the crayons and paper and promptly put them to good use.  I included some pictures of them drawing and stuff.

Letha Sines, my previous supervisor and a wonderful friend, sent me a wonderful card as well as a Hoops and YoYo t-shirt.  If you are not familiar with Hoops and YoYo, check them out at www.hallmark.com under the cards section.  They are really funny and can provide an hours worth of entertainment.  Thank you Letha!

I’m back in Sao Paulo now and should be able to write some more over the next week.

Deus te abencoe,

Jake

Allow me to be honest for a moment. We have faced some extraordinary difficulties here. During the last few years we have had enough bricks and building supplies stolen from us to build at least one, if not two, complete houses. We have endured more gossip and slander than one would imagine as being possible. We are constantly forced to be on the defensive, wondering if someone is telling us the truth or a lie. We have had organizations volunteer to help only to stop after spending a day in Jaragua. Every day we seem to be met with a new challenge, a new obstacle, a new reason to give up. It is so easy to become overwhelmed, to wonder why we keep going. Even our friends and family have brought discouragement, wondering why we waste our weekends with poor people who steal from us and treat us like garbage. Team members have been attacked personally, coming under intense feelings of depression and internal strife. Our relationships with each other and with God have been challenged. And yet we continue. We press forward. We tenaciously pursue the goal of loving this community into change, believing that now is the time to be strong, the time to try, the time to keep going.

The reason I have hope is this–when it looks impossible I know that God will move. He is the one who brings something out of nothing, who looks at the chaos we are in and brings it to life. I once read the following quote about God’s love: “My love does not deny reality and the messiness of situations but it does call forth truth within them. My love propels the beauty inside to the surface.” We are learning to love like God, to keep going despite opposition. We can do this because there is hope, there is beauty here in Jaragua, there is life, and it just needs to be brought to the surface.

I am so grateful that we do not have to deny the reality of this messy situation. I don’t have to pretend it is all ok, to act like everything is going just fine. Jesus allows us to acknowledge reality, to be brutally honest about where we are and what is going on. He allows this because there are, I believe, two layers of truth that are operating at once. The first layer is purely practical, and it is here where we meet the most difficulty. This is where we must admit that we do not have enough money, that many of these people will probably never change, that everything we do may not make a difference at all, and that, despite our best efforts, we will be scorned, mocked, slandered, and stolen from. And yet there is another layer of truth, another reality. It says that these children deserve a better life, it says that they are beautiful and full of life, that they can and will change, that what we are doing has an eternal impact, and that God will always provide.

One of my favorite things about God is this–He lets me be honest. I don’t have to hide from Him. I don’t have to gloss over the issues, to pretend like there are no problems. I can say exactly how I’m feeling and acknowledge exactly how reality appears. And I know that in the end His love will draw beauty from ashes, joy from mourning, and life from death.

We will not give up.

-Jake

P.S. If you would like to know how to support our work please let me know. I am always looking for new partners! I would also ask that you pray for our team. We need to experience the peace of Jesus during these difficult times, as it is only in Him that we have strength to love.

I walked past a park in Bauru and noted its incredible state of disrepair. The benches had fallen over, the grass was dead, the concrete cracked and broken. No children played there. “It wasn’t planned like this,” I thought, “No one builds a park with the hope that it will become ugly and broken.” How did this happen, I asked? Why didn’t someone do something, why was nothing here maintained? When I drive in Sao Paulo I think the same thing–I have never seen so many ugly patches on pavement as in this city. The best roads in Sao Paulo were build ages ago, by the Portuguese…since then everything has been makeshift, an improvised attempt to get by.

I’ve been pondering this situation for a long time, reflecting on everything I see and also thinking about Tolkien’s quote. It does seem to be true, doesn’t it, that things don’t work as we had planned. This truth applies to every aspect of our lives, from the cities we construct to the relationships we build. They begin full of promise, ripe with vision, but then, as Tolkien writes, “there is a frost in Spring , or a blight in Summer, and they fail of their promise.” Our lofty visions degrade into the mundane, our beautiful parks turn into garbage dumps, our most majestic cathedrals stand empty and in disrepair, our friendships often end in bitterness, our marriages in divorce.

In the completion of Tolkien’s quote I find a description of my experience, the expression of my hope, and a reflection of my best friend. Hope springs unlooked for, in the most unlikely of places. I find the most generous people living in favelas, people willing to give out of their lack and their need. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by the gifts I’ve been given by the poorest families here. My hope in a better future is expressed as well; I believe with all my heart that a better world can be built, that we can reverse this decay and create beauty in its place. And finally I see the reflection of Jesus, my best friend and the only one I want to serve. He is the embodiment of hope, the living God who came in a time and place unlooked for, the bright Sun who arose to heal the world. I see in Him the future I desire; the life He lived and continues to live is one of unceasing service, never ending love and grace.

In Him I find hope and the strength to carry on. His word teaches that He will come and live in us, joining himself with us if we so desire. This is the foundation of my faith–the Healer continues to live and to heal through me, so long as I grant him permission. This is why I believe that hope continues to often spring up unlooked for, Jesus continues to reveal himself among the lost and the poor, to shine his light among the darkest night.

Jesus embodied a life that was not lived in vain–his dreams did not end in failure, his beauty did not turn vile. I have been asking myself over and over how he managed this–after all, is it not our nature to decay, does it not seem that all beauty fades and withers away? I believe that part of the answer is found in John 10:30, when Jesus states “I and the Father are one.” I am not a theologian, I don’t understand the intricacies of the trinity or the subtleties of Greek. From this passage I gain a simple truth–Jesus had fully surrendered his life on earth to God, he was a vessel through which the divine poured, or a reflection of the image of God. Our greatest hope lies in emulating Jesus, in asking him to mold us into his image, in allowing the divine to live through us. As we do this we bring the kingdom of heaven to earth, we build it brick by brick, shaping a different, a better, world.

I started this entry with the phrase “It is not supposed to be this way…” The very fact that it rings so true in our hearts reveals our need for a different kingdom, our innate knowledge that there is a better way, a higher road. As we lean on Jesus and ask him to live through us his kingdom becomes reality around us, we ourselves are transformed into the hope we would look for, the change we desire to see.

The key is maintenance. Just as the roads need to be repaved and the potholes fixed, just as the trash needs to be cleaned and the grass in the park watered, our relationship with God must be nurtured, we must daily ask for him to come and live in us. Without a daily pursuit, without the conscious effort to draw near to him, we will fade, our dreams will wither, and our promise will fail. But when we turn our lives to him, when he becomes the life we live, then hope will spring up in places unlooked for, light will shine in the darkness, and we will finally say, “This is the way it is supposed to be.”

Iris has a partner ministry here in Sao Paulo and I had the chance to visit the base yesterday with Joao. We met with Pastor Dirceo, who led us around the favela in which they work and introduced us to some families. Iris is doing some of the exact same work we would like to do in Bauru–it was great to see a working example! They have a small community center that is mostly a kitchen. They serve soup every day to about 200 kids in the neighborhood, and also hold services. I was so blessed by Pastor Dirceo’s heart–I look forward to going back and visiting again. It brings such joy to meet with others who have the same heart, who want to see change and are actively working to bring it about. It always strikes me how easy it can be to connect with some people, to feel like you share a heart, even when you barely know them…

We need some prayer!! I am faced with several different options for a building and am having a difficult time deciding where to go from here. Part of the reason I came back to Sao Paulo was to take some time off to pray and think. I don’t want to go into too much detail about the problems we are facing, but will simply say that I need a lot of guidance and assistance from the Father.

I expect to come to a decision within the next week and will write as soon as I do…Thanks for praying!

Last week I stayed in Bauru with my friend Cleber’s family. His mother is an absolute saint and took great care of me. During the day I would get up, walk to the Dirt Family’s house, and then start to work. [A brief explanation is probably in order regarding the Dirt Family. When we first came to Brazil 3 years ago we met this kid who loved to roll around in the dirt, so we promptly nicknamed him Dirt Boy. It turned out that his brother also liked to roll in the dirt, so we named him Older Dirt Boy. Well, imagine our suprise when we learned that there was a whole Dirt Family--Marilza, the mom(widowed), and her 7 children(2 girls and 5 boys)!! For the last few years we have affectionately referred to them all as the Dirts!]

So during the day I worked on building the Dirt’s new house–a duplex that Marilza will share with her sister’s family. A wonderful man named Marcello doing the construction and the whole family has been helping. Make sure to check out the photos to see the house being built. A few things should be mentioned about this house and also Brazilian construction methods. 1)We are building this house because the Dirts do not currently have a house. A few years ago the father was killed and since then Marilza has struggled to take care of her children. She lived for a while in a house with some relatives and now lives in a small shack with her family. She is a very hard worker and makes a living doing odd jobs, recycling, and also making handicrafts. This construction project has been going on for over a year now and it is exciting to see it picking up some steam. 2)Brazilians build everything out of bricks, because lumber is very expensive here. I love watching Marcello level a wall with a weight and make sure the walls are straight by tying some string to 2 bricks and eyeballing the line! It is absolutely insane, but it works.

It is great to see the whole family helping build, from the youngest ones carrying in bricks to myself and the mom mixing cement and helping Marcello. Marcello, by the way, is a father of 3 great girls and is currently living with some relatives. In exchange for him building this house we have agreed to purchase the materials for his new house that he would like to build. It is a really good trade for us and for him.

My portuguese has improved dramatically, mostly thanks to Cleber’s mom’s constant chatting. Her husband says that the reason I go to bed so early is that her talking gives me a headache!! I actually love it, she is so patient and helps me a lot with conjugation.

I left Bauru last weekend and am now relaxing a bit in Sao Paulo, spending time with Joao and Christian and trying to sort out the next steps for our work here.

A few random notes–1) I received a care package from Trish Brunkhart, a great friend and second mom to me from Kentucky. Thanks Trish!!! 2) I have had a random craving for Skittles since I came to Brazil–random because I rarely ate skittles in the States. I found them at the movie theatre, but not in any stores. Needless to say I’m pressuring Joao to take me to the movies again! 3) Portuguese joke of the day–I recently asked a waitress for Suice…I though Juice in my head, but it started to come out like Succo, and got a little mangled along the way…

More soon…

Jake

P.S. The kids are all doing great…they really miss the team and constantly ask where their other Tios are…it is amazing to see what an impact the team made in such a short time here.